(Il)Legally Blonde

So I made it to the hair cut that I wasn't sure I would need when I booked it 8 weeks ago. When having the cold cap, oops, sorry, the FFH, you are meant to be nice to your hair. So I am avoiding hair dryers/ straightners, being gentle when brushing it, and sleeping on silk pillowcases (lovely and cool, can highly recommend, and massively reduces explodahead bed hair!). Anyway what you are also NOT meant to do is dye your hair. Now, for those that don't know this, my blondness is erm, slightly assisted with the aid of highlights. I have gradually darkened over the years and am in denial! So I should really be embracing my naturalness - but I have to draw the line somewhere. The thought of letting my roots do their thing, fills me with more dread than going bald. So I relented and we didn't use any bleach and just tints - so a little compromise. I figure, it may increase the chance of it falling out, but at least I will look fabulous in the meantime!
I have also been busy being famous! Get me. Dave, our Best Man, and one of my best friends, is raising money for Bowel Cancer UK and hoping to run the London Marathon. That in itself is quite an achievement as (he is the first to admit this), is one of the least fit people I know. Anyway, he is doing a 24h hairdressing marathon (did I mention that he is also my honarary gay best friend, who is not gay?!)and also we are doing 2 "Calendar Girls" type calendars. We have been interviewed for the local paper and also appear on its website. I will be in print tomorrow - eek.
http://www.maidenhead-advertiser.co.uk/news/article-22308-video-hairdresser-to-hold-24-hour-haircut-marathon-in-gesture-to-friend-with-cancer/
I am really touched and really proud of him for doing this. It makes you realise who the important people are.
Oh yes, and finally, 2 sleeps to go 'til Harry Potter. Excited, much?

Round 2

The battle continues and this time hasn't been as bad as I expected (yet!). Monday chemo was quite a social affair as my brother is back from Oz for a couple of weeks. He wanted to be my chemo buddy and I think it helped him. Chemo has the image of making people bald, skinny and miserable and to see it as something different is a good thing. The oncology unit is an amazingly positive place - negativity is banned. The crazy Ghanaian sister Regina helps - her laugh is infectious.

Managed the cold cap again - it is still a FFH but I coped better this time - kept my head supported so I didn't get a really sore neck. Bizarrely I sent the boys out for a Skinny Caramel Frappucino as I had a craving. So there I am with -5C FFH on my head, slurping a frozen coffee - feeling quite comfy. I think I am officially odd! Most women with the FHH are under blankets with hot water bottles. Go figure!

The FFH before it goes on my head - yes that is ice.

The week has been a bit dull with no concerts but hey - gotta pace myself! I haven't felt as weird nor as sicky as last time - had more anti-emetics this time. They say the Avastin (my extra kick ass drug that I had this time), doesn't cause sickness as it is a monoclonal antibody. The science geeks amongst you will know that this is a more targeted treatment and hence less side effects. I suspect it is bloody expensive - looking forward to seeing the bill for this round! However - if it does what it says on the tin the cost is worth it (she says, thankful for private health care insurance!).

It has been awesome to have my brother here and I think for him it has helped him understand what I am going through and that I am just getting on with my life, whilst battling cancer as a bit of a hobby! The evilness is not allowed to become all consuming. It is an aspect of me; part of me; but it is not ALL of me. I am still Claire; blonde; vet type; wife; friend; daughter etc. I just happen to have cancer. Fighting it is something that I am doing but it is not all I am doing. I am still trying to live my life - after all my life will still be there after chemo finishes so I need to keep it going. I think people tend to forget that about me - so I get asked a lot about how I am feeling but not much about the other aspects of what I am up to. Well, actually, some people ask but others don't. After all, if you don't ask how I am feeling then I can't possibly answer with something you don't want to deal with - "Pretty shit thanks" - eek, now what do you say? Easier not to ask isn't it?! Doesn't mean that I'm not feeling shit though does it - but it makes it easier for you to live with. Just remember that no matter how crap you may be feeling about all of this - it is a lot worse for me as I am actually living it.

Oops bit of a mini rant there - sorry. Actually, no I'm not - it has to be said to help understanding. Whilst I may be pretty positive and upbeat, but it isn't always that way.

Quite brilliantly I am having my hair cut tomorrow. When I made the appointment 8 weeks ago I didn't know whether there would actually be any hair to cut. The Irinotecan (kick ass drug that causes hair loss in 30% of cases) starts to cause loss 3-4w after treatment starts so I will know any day whether the FFH is doing what it should, and whether Mrs Jack Sparrow is going to make an appearance. I guess I just have to wait and see.

Defence against the Dark Arts

Sitting here on the sofa watching the genius crap that is Made in Chelsea, feeling like crap! Taken extra anti-emetics but no joy. Hopefully will feel better tomorrow.

So what a day - day 1, round 1 of aggressive chemo. I must say I have a complaint to make to the Trade Description people....Cold Cap my arse........Fucking Freezing Helmet is a better description!

This is clearly NOT a cap! Minus 5 degrees is NOT cold. Surely the appearance and the ice on my hair after sporting this look for 5 hours should indicate that all descriptive terminology is somewhat misleading. I demand a refund!
However this ordeal is in a vain (see what I did there?!) attempt to save my hair as losing it is a real possibility this time. I know it isn't the end of the world but I have spent the last 37 years covering up my sticky out ears so it's a look I am keen to avoid. And as if the freezing, sorry cold, wasn't bad enough - my hair was covered in conditioner beforehand and I can't wash it for 24 hours - I am a crusty nauseous mess! Gorgeous. Still I get to sleep on silk pillowcases now - how posh am I?
So day 1 DONE. Who knows what the next 2 weeks will offer up - we have mouth ulcers, constipation, diarrhoea and nausea to look forward to. Maybe I should play side-effect bingo! Altohugh a full house is not a good thing in this game.