The Last Lost Weekend

So it all starts/ends tomorrow. What a really depressing thought. I feel great yet tomorrow and for who knows how long, I am going to feel (and probably look) like shite. Tremendous.

But we have had a fantastic weekend in Wales. Packed up the car on Friday night and off we went. Walking on the beach;rock pooling; laughing and finished off with a trip to Skomer Islamd today to see the puffins again. I don't know if I will get to see them again this season as I'm not great on boats at the best of times - let alone with a body full of chemo! All in all it was a great weekend - a good way to try a forget about what is looming tomorrow.

Mind you this would have been easier without having to do a 24 hour urine collection. I mean, seriously, do Drs invent tests to make you lose even more dignity? Who needs a bottle of wee in their fridge? Or to have to make sure they have a bottle with them all day to collect it in. On a positive note I have successfully mastered the art of the she-wee. A work of genius. If I make it to the Bon Jovi concert in Hyde Park on saturday, it will come in very handy!

Anyway enough rambling. I am shattered after all the walking today and my sunburnt face is glowing. Ironic that I look healthy considering what tomorrow brings.

My Best Friend's Wedding

I have 8 days before my chemo starts for the 2nd time. 8 days before my life changes again. 8 days to enjoy myself.

So what better way then to go to your best friend's wedding? Well, without Rupert Everett and Julia Roberts - but hey, you can't have it all! I was determined to attend my oldest friend's most special day, so refused to start chemo until afterwards. After all, we have been friends for 23 years and the evilness is not going to get in the way of that.

It was a gorgeous day and so lovely to see such love and happiness in two very special people. For a few hours I could eat, drink, dance and have fun - and forget the evilness.

It is ironic that I feel and look great at the moment - even though it is still inside me. In 8 days time that will start to change and I am likely to start feeling like shite and probably looking that way too. I have a 30% chance of losing my hair so will look like a cancer victim too. That pisses me off as I have managed so far to just be Claire; me; normal person. Arse. Still I figure hair loss gives me a chance to experiment with some new looks with the aid of wigs. Got to try and find a silver lining somewhere.

Anyway - this is post 1 of my difficult journey. I shall stop rambling now.