Monday, 17 December 2012

How are you feeling?

This is how I am greeted now. No "How are you?" Or "How is work?"  I have become all about the illness. It's as if all other aspects of my life don't matter any more. Here I am trying to put the evilness back in the corner again and everyone else is dragging it back out so it can ruin the party once more.

Ironically I have a standard answer which was really emphasised at my work Christmas do this week. I was greeted by a colleague with the standard "How are you feeling?"  And I responded with my standard "Not too bad thanks". He then asked if that was true or just my standard response. At this point a very close work mate asked the same and gave me a massive hug. And my response then was "Shit", to which the first guy laughed and said "ah the real answer."

It got me thinking. Are people asking because they genuinely want to know or because they feel they should ask? And why do I tend to give my standard reply? Why do I not tell the truth? Is it to protect others from my reality, or not to admit that this is difficult and that I am struggling.

The truth is I don't know the answers to these questions. But what I do know is that there is more to me than this evil disease. Please don't forget me.


  1. Oh lovely lovely lady. No chance in a million of forgetting you.

    People just care. They want the truth. They want you to share. They want to help you.

    Sending much love x

  2. When I am trying to describe which one of my internet weirdie friends I am talking about to my Mum, you are "the vet one, who was really helpful when Fizz had the ear infection on that bank holiday weekend".

    To me you are the one who had the amazing pink dress (and generally loves anything pink), who walked down the aisle to star wars, and lives near me but I have, quite rudely, never foisted cake upon! xx

  3. Just stumbled upon your blog. I hope you soon are just you,for you,for all you care about and for those who care about you.