Sunday, 14 August 2011

Nips and Bits

So another 2 weeks has flown by. Another 2 weeks of feeling shattered and managing side effects. My oncologists warned me that the fatigue would be hard this time and difficult to deal with. They were not lying. It is quite frankly a bitch - no magic pills make it go away. No tea sorts that out (well a skinny caramel latte does help!). The only treatment here is sleep. And sleep interferes with being "normal". Going to bed at 8pm does slightly impinge on one's social life. Bugger. However, I can't fight this one unfortunately - so sleep I must. I have to listen to my body and do as it says. Getting into bed each night is quite frankly utter bliss. It is the best bit of every day. It does get slightly disrupted when the bloody steroids get their say but still - bed is my friend!

Apart from a lot of sleeping what have I been up to? I have now resigned myself to the fact that chemo week is a right off from the point of view of life. Week 2 is where I live again - so had dinner with lots of friends this week. Great to catch up with such wonderful people. People that have stood by me through all the shite. Not always a given it must be said. Easy to assume that the people you love will stand by you and step up to the mark. It is quite a shock when you realise that not to be the case. Still - at least I know who really matters. True friends are precious and not to be taken for granted. In fact, it is easy to take life for granted and that is one thing that the evilness teaches you. Life is a very valuable thing and I think all of us are guilty for taking what we have for granted. If you are reading this then take a step back and look at the wonderfulness that you have. Give your loved ones an extra kiss and hug tonight. You are lucky.

I managed to see my Marble Polisher this week - we have had a bit of a gap what with one thing and another. For those not in the loop - as a surprise friend that has provided a lot of support, that I didn't expect, told me - "if you don't keep your marbles polished then you risk losing them". So I polish my marbles once a week (usually). She provides me with space to be able to offload, rant, ramble and cry with no agenda. And cry I do, a lot. It usually catches me by surprise every time. But at least I get it out. Important that the evilness doesn't let emotions eat away at me. So out they must come. I usually feel pretty washed out after but much better. My MP is brilliant.

Today brought the start of the photo shoots for the naked charity calendars we are making. It does mean an early start to avoid the general public being nosy and to protect the modesty of the wonderful people that have volunteered. It was really quite amusing to see Dave getting embarrassed and averting his eyes as the dressing gowns came off and everyone got into position. Mind you - he proved quite handy as a model to set up the scenes. This is him being a pregnant woman!
We have many more to do but people are being brilliant. I can't wait to photo the firemen.
Another silver lining me thinks!


  1. I love the marble polisher thing! Works well.


  2. Claire, you truly are an inspiration !! I really admire your strength, honesty and humour in this crappy and unfair situation x

  3. Claire, I am a friend of Jo and my hubby has agreed to be in the photo shoot for your calendar, he is a Met Police Officer!! If you'd still like him to be involved pleased get in touch via Jo, she has my mobile number.
    Thanks, reading your blog is inspirational, keep smiling.
    Julie x

  4. Thanks Julie. It would be great for him to be involved - it just depends on whether the force let him.